Women! How to Encourage Better Cunnilingus

This was one of the most popular articles from Orgasm October so we decided to edit and update it for your reading pleasure!

One of the main questions floating around the GetLusty office is why there are relatively few cunnilingus classes in Chicago. One hypothesis we've heard from event organizers as to why they have such a hard time filling seats for cunnilingus classes is that we women don't tell our husbands or lovers they could use some...ahem...lessons.

So, of course, we've got to address this issue. We think both sexes should constantly improve on their techniques. For women, sometimes we're afraid to ask for what we want. Don't be! Here are some ways you can communicate to him exactly what your vagina wants and needs. GetLusty's Lora Swarts reports.

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1. Think before you speak

Before you start talking and potentially getting off track, think about how to approach this subject. Consider your partner's feelings and write a list of everything you want to discuss. You want to avoid any negativity and hurt feelings. 

2. Be positive

Rather than tell your guy all the things he is doing wrong and potentially causing a fight, explain to him the things he does that make you feel the best. He will get the hint without you making him feel like an inadequate lover. If something is not working for you, then let him know in a way that puts a positive spin on it. For example, if you like it slow in the beginning, tell him to slow it down because you love the way he makes you feel. That lets him know you enjoy the sensations without being negative to him.

3. Give clear directions

This is an important way to let your guy know exactly what you want while he is going down on you. Again, be positive to avoid any hurt feelings. If you enjoy his fingers penetrating you while his tongue is caressing your clitoris, let him know! Men want to please us, and would appreciate clear directions and feedback.  

4. Use positive reinforcement

Tell your partner what a wonderful job they're doing. Positive reinforcement through a moan, groan, or statement, will let your guy know he is doing an awesome job. When he knows you love something he is doing, he will likely keep doing it! 

5. Make it an activity! 

If your guy is an active learner, then he will get the most out of physically going down on you. He will be able to truly explore and put all your words into action. Why not suggest you both work on your oral sex techniques and take turns pleasing each other? This way you can openly tell your guy what feels best in the moment. He can begin to explore without feeling nervous or intimidated because the ultimate goal is getting you off.

Remember, while he is going down on you, stay positive, be clear and employ reinforcement.


Lora is the GetLusty Editorial Intern and resident health nut. When she is not writing, you can find her on her yoga mat, spending too much money on soy lattes or hanging out with her wonderful boyfriend in their north side apartment. You can find her on Twitter @honeynutlo.

Have any questions about our editorial content? Contact her at Lora@GetLusty.com.
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