The 50 Shades of a BDSM Contract

So you're curious about BDSM. You've done a little whipping. Maybe you want to try something a little more edgy. Remember, this article comes from the dominant/ Master perspective. In this case, Master Gothos signs a contract (or agreement) with his submissives. If or when you create your own contracts, they likely will look a lot different. Jean-Luc educates on the importance of BDSM contracts.

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So you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey. You've either convinced your husband or boyfriend that you want a dominant/submissive component to your relationship. Or maybe they've come to you saying that they want to add this component to your relationship. You remember in the Fifty Shades, there was a contract and tell them you want one.

What we're reviewing

Here, we're go over what a real dominant/submissive or BDSM contract looks like. Keeping in mind that this is just one way of doing this sort of thing, and that there are many different kinds of contracts for scene play. We are just going to cover the basic concepts of the dominant/ submissive contract.


A note on safety 

A couple notes of safety here. Only do this with partners you trust and have a good solid relationship with, money should never be part of this process. Contracts are an expansion of a relationship that wants to take a more committed track and contracts normally include a permanent collar. At least in my opinion, but then I like Oreos and chocolate milk at the same time. I’m crazy like that.

Why a contract?

Ok so the first thing you should have in your contract, and just like in the book. It should list all of your hard limits. I think of these as the, 'not in a fucking million years' or, 'for any amount of money ever' limits. You should know your limits and what you do and don’t like. For me, I draw the line with knife play, golden showers, needle play, or anything that involves blood. This is why communication is so very important in the dominant/submissive relational dynamic. You have to be completely open and honest about what turns you on and what turns you off.

Decide what you like

The next thing listed in the contract should be your likes, wants, desires, and things you might be curious about. So if you enjoy being tied up and hung from the ceiling and used as a pinata of sexual pleasure, that should be in the contract. As should any expectations you have for your Dom. This will be the rare time you can and should be talking freely as equals. Nothing should be left unsaid during this time.

Now, the contract will also have all the expectations that your dominant will have for you. Personally, I have some big expectations that I include in the contracts that I have issued in the past. So I’ll use a past contract as an example. I’m a strong believer in the K.I.S.S. concept of life. Keep It Super Simple. I despise the word stupid hence the modified version.

A sample contract

So here is an example of what you might expect if you were to enter into a contract with me. Also I tend to enjoy having domestic submissives, so this contract will reflect that (as I’m terrible with house work). Also, because this is consensual either party can end a contact at anytime.

The contract

You are hereby entering into a contracted dominant/submissive relationship. All expectations will be met or punishment will be given out. This relationship can be ended by either party at anytime.

The Submissive's Obligations

#1 You will be available to me at all times.
#2 You will be active in keeping yourself healthy with Diet and Exercise.
#3 You will maintain the house as described and directed by me.
#4 You will maintain contact with me during the day, and you will check in with me if you will be late getting home. This part is important and I will explain more here in a bit.
#5 You will have dinner ready at exactly the same time every night unless I have said otherwise.

Submissive Hard Limits

It would be here that the submissive would list all of his or her hard limits and the things they won’t do as far as sex play and kink.

This next half of the contract would explain the expectations that the Submissive would have of his or her dom(me). This would also be where the dom(me) would list their hard limits and those acts they won’t be taking part in.

Now a couple of notes, this is a living document it can be adjusted as needed by either person. I have a very hard line when it comes to my subs. I expect them to be home when I get home, and I expect them to be waiting by the door as I generally tend to be home the same time every night. I also tend to lean towards domestic submissives as I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m terrible with housework. My mind is normally on other things and it’s normally an afterthought because I’m so distracted by other things. So most of my contracts tend to reflect that aspect.

A note on the contract

I take contracts very seriously, because it’s a written agreement. Although I don’t take it this far, there are some Dom(me)s that will have contracts notarized as legal documents. I have always believed that if you have gotten to the point you want to make the commitment of a contract, you have built up a very strong trust of each other so there is no need to take it to that extreme.

A word on the dominant in this contract (AKA me)

My contracts come with a collar and a promise to take care of my submissives. Although a lot of people have been saying otherwise, I believe submission is a gift to the Dom and that it should be respected as such.

I hope this article has given you a glimpse into what you can expect from a dominant/submissive contract. Please feel free to leave your comments below, tweet me, message me on Fetlife, or you can read my other thoughts on sex and sexuality on my blog, Mindchaotica.com. In the meantime make sure you keep it Lusty!

Jean-Luc Gothos is our resident pansexual geek. He's founder on Mindchaotica. He is also very active on Twitter, Facebook, G+, and Tumblr. I’m also a writer for Life On The Swingset, Kink~E Magazine, and he also reviews sex toys on EdenFantasys and writes for their sex positive online publication SexIs Social.

Have a question, comment or concern about this article? Please feel free to comment below.

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Gents! 5 Tips to Being Sexually Dominant

Has your partner asked for more domination in the bedroom? What better holiday gift than one of dominance? Now, if you're not sure whether this is exactly what your partner wants, do ask them – keep a constant and open communication.

With that, we've heard from ladies who want a dominant partner. We've heard from gents who want to be dominant, but they're afraid to hurt their partner. We get that. How lovely and nice of you. You should be proud that you're such a nice guy. No, seriously. But for now – if you've heard your partner ask you to dominate them, Portia Blush, our queen of dominance, has some ideas on how you can do just that.

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Being sexually dominated in the bedroom, although not a new fantasy by any means, is becoming less closeted. It's a more openly encouraged, erotic fantasy among women (think: Fifty Shades). More women are feeling safer about speaking out about their desire to dominated in the bedroom.

Maybe it's the popularity of books like Fifty Shades of Grey that are finally helping us feel comfortable and accepting of our own desires. Or maybe it's the readily accessible nature of sex-positive information on the internet. Whatever it is, we're asking for what we want. And what do we want? Well, it seems a lot of us want our partner to take sexual control of us!

Whether your girlfriend or wife just got finished reading Fifty Shades, or if it's been a long-time fantasy of hers, perhaps she has asked you to take the lead and be dominant in the bedroom. Now what?

Bringing this fantasy into fruition can be somewhat daunting, especially if you have no idea where to start. Here are 5 tips for learning how to be that dominant man your partner is lusting for!

#1 Talk, talk, and more talk

I know, you're probably thinking that talking things out will ruin the fantasy for her, but that is so not the case. You have to find out just what makes the fantasy so erotic for her for it to be effective. Communication is key to lubrication, I like to say! Is it just rougher, more animalistic sexual aggression she wants from you? Does she want to be tied up? Spanked over your knee? To be ordered about like a sex slave? Ask her what she finds erotic about being dominated by you, and you'll have the frame work you need to enjoy a whole new sexual adventure together!

#2 Feeling nervous? Try role play


It can be hard at first to try something new, or doesn't come naturally. You may have some reservations, or some inhibitions of your own, and find it difficult to trust your own instincts.

One of the best ways to help yourself through this is role-playing! Pretending to be someone else can help free you from the tape in your head that says, "I must be this way," and can allow you to let go and try something new. Be the Christian Grey she wants and she can be Anastasia. Be the teacher and she's the student, or maybe the cop, and she's the naughty law breaker! As En Vogue sang, "Free your mind, and the rest will follow."

#3 It's a two-way street

You have fantasies and desires too, as well as needs to be met just as your lovely lady wishing to submit does. Maybe there's something you want her to do for you. Perhaps you have wanted her to give you head in a specific way, or maybe you've thought about what it would be like to bend her over the dining room table and have your way with her from behind. Blending your desires with your lover's, in a harmonious way, will bring a symphony of erotic pleasure and fulfillment for the both of you. Power exchange is a dynamic in which we exchange power by giving our will to another, and that  can be a very sexy experience.

#4 Use your imagination

It’s very easy to get caught in the trappings of toys like ropes, paddles, and riding crops, and forget about the mental and emotional aspects of dominance and submission. Flex your mental muscles and use your imagination. Create an aura of dominance using just the way you move, speak (or don’t speak), and act. Look to characters from books and movies that you see as "dominant", or ask your partner who she thinks makes an incredibly sexy dominant male character! Find what inspires those feelings naturally in you, and make the role your own.

#5 Everyone loves toys

OK, so your partner really wants you to spank or paddle her – don't worry about spending a fortune on expensive toys right from the get-go. You don't need high-priced toys to have a good time. For spankings, everyone likes a god ole' fashioned, over-the-knee, bare-hand spanking. If you want to play around with different sensations, try the back side of a hairbrush, or a spatula! For more on spanking, check out Spanking 101.

No need to buy fancy restraints if you want to play with bondage! You can buy basic rope at your local hardware store or home improvement store, or try using silky scarves, too! You an also buy "bondage tape" for low-cost, which is a PVC tape that adheres to itself. It's cheap, easy to remove, and disposable too! Look around the home for potential tools – neck ties, scarves, and belts. Really, your imagination is the best toy you have, so play around and experiment! Most of all, have fun!

This is all a very basic starting point to begin your journey with. The best resource you have to discover your erotic map in playing with dominance and submission is each other. Find out what you both like, and what you'd like to try, and have fun discovering together. The possibilities are endless!

For questions on sexual dominance or submission, feel free to contact Portia via her blog! Also, e-mail reply@getlusty.com.

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on Twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

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The Importance of Safewords

If our past articles on BDSM has raised some interest for you, then make sure your sex play experience is a safe one. Dominance and Submission can be pretty intimidating words, and acting them out has a very intense consequence. So be smart and know what precautions to take. Our local BDSM sex educator, Cherries Jubalie shares some safeword advice for you inexperienced masochists and sadists out there.

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What is a safeword?

Safewords are generally a verbal cue or code when playing in a BDSM scene or situation where the submissive, or "bottom", player needs to indicate the activity has to pause or stop.  There are two main theories of the importance of using safewords.  If you are playing by safe, sane and consensual standards in the kink community, a safeword of some type should be negotiated prior to play or entering into a lifestyle situation.  If you are playing RACK, or Risk-Aware Consensual Kink, you may not be using safewords for some more extreme and intense sex play.

How, when and why use safewords?

People can be creative and come up with various verbal cues such as "George Bush" or "Red Hot Chili Pepper" to indicate when they have had enough activity, or need to get the complete attention of the "Top" [people who are playing with them.]  Some community standards for Safewords are the stoplight colors to communicate what state the submissive/bottom is in during a scene.  Red generally means stop or a pause when things are too intense or painful.  Sometimes Yellow is called out to let the Top know that the sub/bottom can take more but are reaching the stop level.  It really depends on the individuals playing and what they have determined to facilitate the sex play.  

People also use non-verbal Safewords in scenes, either in a situation where the sub/bottom is restrained or gagged and can not make a verbal cue.  I have had someone hand me a heavy Master Lock [yes the symbolism is rampant] and if I lost my grip or dropped deliberately the activity would pause.  The Top checked in with me to see if I needed something or was done.

For those people who don't scene or play with safewords there are several reasons for not using them.  Some types of Edgeplay make safewords impractical or the sex play can be unsatisfying for the participants.  If you were in a scene that involved a carefully executed abduction and mock sexual violation, having safewords may take all the fun out of it.  However, with that said, the participants have to agree on no safewords prior to the activities taking place.  There could be more than just consensual ramifications if one partner thought they were going to use safewords and the other did not.  Some of the ways people play in BDSM are at best a grey legal area.  Practicality suggests that having some form of communication and trust that the players all agree to is very important for kinky sex.

What should I do if someone doesn't respect my safeword?

This is a loaded question.  If you like a play partner and want to have a scene with him or her, proper negotiation is important no matter what the scene dynamics are.  If you meet with someone who declares they don't play with safewords and this is the first scene you are doing together, thoroughly self-examine your reasons for wanting to play with this person. Actively communicate your boundaries and have a back up plan such as a safe-call with a friend if you disappear for a few hours, or days.  

One of my recent relationships deepened to the point where we didn't use safewords because of our power dynamic.  I had to trust that he would see my limitations even as we both explored our boundaries.  When we played, we played hard and tragically after five years we had a massive miscommunication and violation of trust that ended the relationship.  As a bottom, it is important to note that it is our responsibility to communicate our limits regardless of whether you play with or without safewords.  That said, at anytime in the relationship, YOU can withdraw consent, but you have to let your partner know it.  The key here is appropriate communication regardless of the power dynamic in Sadism and Masochism, Dominance and Submission, and BDSM. 

I have been to events where respected members of the kink community failed to hear "Red" in a scene, and in one case, deliberately ignored it.  Now under the first circumstance, it could have been the adrenaline or the noise in the dungeon and gossip abounded, but the Dom (Tom) spoke with the play-partner after and apologized. After all, we are human and sometimes make mistakes.  On the second instance, the deliberate continuation was actually part of the scene where the Dom and the Sub agreed to not using the safeword and the bottom was trying to wiggle out of the deal by being a brat.  At this particular event a generalized "Camp Red" would mean that the player really did need the scene to stop, and the rules of the event decreed that all people in the vicinity would step in and see that the activity was stopped because some of the players were too intense.

In general, if you have a reputation as a play partner who does not respect safewords, you wont be getting much play once you have done that to a few people.  If you did use your safeword and the play partner did not heed it, my advice is to follow your instinct and contact professional help.  In public play dungeons, there are protocols to follow.  Contact a Dungeon Monitor or owner of the club and tell them what happened.  If it was a personal violation or distinct violation of consent, contact the proper authorities.  Most of all talk to the play partner and find out what happened.  It could be a miscommunication or a very real crime, but regardless of your status in the scene or relationship, you should always bring it to the attention of the appropriate party.  

Should it matter if we use safewords?

Of course it should matter.  Sex and sex play should be whatever you want it to be.  However, if you have limits or concerns there should be a means of communicating that to your partner.  The choice of using safewords is up to the individual, but before you plan an abduction scene you should play with people you trust and consider finding a means to let your partner know when the scene has gone as far as you want or need it to go.

We talk about "no" meaning NO and "stop" meaning STOP, but when the sex play gets going sometimes we really don't mean no or stop.  A running joke in the kink community is "Ow is not a safeword."  To be honest, for some people that may be considered one, but if we don't communicate that as our boundary to our partner then the sex play will not be fun for anyone.

Having been a Dungeon Monitor on many occasions, there have been instances in which I have had to go on instinct when I saw an intense scene.  As a Dungeon Monitor, I have to trust that things are okay regardless of how extreme or intense the play gets.  But whether or not you are at a public dungeon, or just trying out some "50 Shades" in the bedroom, acknowledging a limit with a means of communication through a safeword system is having smart sex.  If you choose not to have one, then make sure all parties involved know that, and that you are playing with people you trust not to harm you.  Most of all, make sure you know that this is truly just play. Make sure you and your partners are all on the same page.

Ms. CherriesJubalie is a unique Burlesque performance artist and active member of the Chicago Leather Community.  She is a sex-positive educator and travels the country to present at local and national lifestyle events, art shows, and charity balls.  A sex-positive enigma, she has appeared on NBC's America's Got Talent where censors determined her "ass is too dangerous for Prime Time TV."  She has appeared in independent films such as Dracula's Orgy of the Damned and the soon to be released Dark Realm, and is a featured performer on Kink.com's HogTied.  An internationally known Shibari Rope Artist and fetish model, you can see her in Germany's Bondage Magazine and on the cover of books like Sacred Kink. She is a new contributor to GetLusty.com and we look forward to more of her unique perspectives on sexuality.

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Erotic! 50 Shades-Inspired Fantasy for Foreplay

Though Shades of Grey September is long over, we're still fantasizing. And what better time than a Sunday to read erotic stories for foreplay? Dr. Limor Michelmen, our favorite saucy doctor, is here to take you on an erotic journey. Read on.

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I have been living in my apartment for two years now, but for some reason, even in this new, beautiful building, the construction never ends.

The one thing I never really found aversive, to say the least, is the sexy presence of the construction workers. Something about a strong man in a hard hat always titillates me.

I get in the elevator with Joe, Mark and Jason. They’re all dressed in their heavy gear, greeting me as I nod my head, smile and stand in front of them.

I have fantasized about each and every one of them so many times. It almost feels like they can read my mind. I’m wearing my low-cut, back revealing blouse, so I’m thinking, "My semi-nudity will excite them, sans exposing my extreme arousal," as I brush against Joe’s arm, entering the elevator.

They gentlemanly allow me to exit first, I drop one side of my blouse and reveal a tanned shoulder, Mark sighs, just enough for me to hear it.

As I walk in the garage, my panties are already drenched. I’m checking my watch: I have an hour to get to work. I have a choice of a quick pleasuring session in my car, or a relaxing cup of coffee, but after this elevator ride, the choice is clear. I’m getting in my car, lowering my sit to get comfortable and checking the garage. “Good I’m all alone." Tinting my windows was probably my best gift this year, given the fact that these guys have been keeping me so hot and bothered lately.

I pull my little pink rabbit out of the glove compartment and pull down my jeans. I’m so wet, I don’t even need to lubricate my throbbing hole. The rabbit slides in smoothly and closes tightly on my engorged clit. I choose my favorite elevator fantasy to get myself going:


I enter the elevator as I did this morning, the three Gods of sexual healing are standing there, flashing their hot, muscular arms and sweaty chests. Mark reaches over and turns a key, the elevator stops between floors.

My favorite, Joe, runs his rugged hand down my shivering back, coming closer and kissing my neck. “You know where this is going baby, don’t you?” he whispers in my ear. My nipples are about to tear my blouse, my heart races as I nod. Breathless. Jason pushes over and stands in front of me, slipping his hands under my blouse, grabbing my breasts and pinching my eager nipples.

"Oh honey, I think you’re ready for us, right? Just relax sweetheart, we’ll take good care of you," he promises, as he unzips my jeans, not taking his eyes of mine.

Joe starts peeling my blouse, exposing and caressing my breasts.

Mark is smiling as he pulls out a very large erection, and starts caressing his shaft. “You are even hotter than we imagined darling,” he compliments me and speeds his thrust. Jason gets down on his knees and pushes my soaked thong aside. “Look at this beautiful, wet hole. How excited are you now honey?” he is shoving two fingers into my quivering vagina, I’m so turned on, I just want to scream and beg him to fuck me.

He plays with my swollen clit, pushing his fingers in and out of me, then peels my panties off and starts lavishly licking my wetness. His stubbly, semi bearded face, is soaked in my juices, he seems to enjoy it immensely, but not nearly as much as I do. I’m just about to cum, as Joe decides to torture me and stops eating my pussy. I’m staring at him, like a child that lost her favorite doll.

“Don’t worry princess. It’s better to extend your pleasure, you really think we’ll leave you hanging?”

Mark and Jason place me comfortably on the elevator floor, and rotate positions. Now Mark is in charge of my clitoral pleasure. He’s doing a very good job.

Jason and Joe get down on their knees, placing their enormous erections close to my eager mouth. “Oh God boys, I can’t wait to swallow both of you. I have been fantasizing about tasting you for so long!" Joe is super excited, thrusting his shaft fast. I grab both in my hands and start rotating them in my mouth, occasionally fitting both of them together, to the best of my capacity.

My mouth is small and they find it thrilling, watching me struggle with their large erections.

I’m shoving my rabbit harder in my hole, pulling its power all the way to the top. I’m just about to cum wildly, as an alarming knock on the tinted window, throws me off my upcoming, well anticipated, orgasm.

It’s him, it’s Joe… turns out he has been watching me for a while, now what? I pull out my wet rabbit and place it under my seat. I pull down my blouse and crack open the window, looking all flushed and breathing heavily.

“Hi Joe, what’s up?” A part of me hoping to make this go away, while another is craving his beautiful big cock inside me.

“Oh honey, you know we’re way past pleasantries, right? Come out of the car, we’re alone here.” I must be crazy, I do as he orders. We’re standing very close, our bodies almost touch. I can smell his sweet aftershave.

“I know you want me, baby. And you definitely know you make my cock hard every time you swing by with that delicious, sexy body. So what do you say? Forget masturbating in the car and let me fuck you senseless?”

Oh, well! Now that he put it so subtly, I nod positively, whispering “please fuck me” in his ear.

“Get down on your knees sugar, I’m going to fuck your mouth!"

I oblige quickly, this only makes me more excited! I have been robbed out of my “almost climax” twice now, but this agonizing anticipation is glorious to me.

He pulls his big erection out of his pants, I place it firmly in my small hands and start licking his throbbing head, placing it in my mouth, on my lips, playing it with my tongue while caressing his scrotum. He gasps in pleasure, I feel him growing in my hands. I start eating him, pushing his huge head deep inside my mouth and throat. “Oh baby, you’re so good, take me all the way in. Please don’t stop!”

I play with him, pulling him out and then quickly placing him back in the moist warmth of my mouth, consuming him almost completely. “I would love to cum in your mouth honey, but I know I stopped you mid pleasure, so I’ll be fair."

I keep shoving his erection in my mouth until he forces me to stop. He grabs my charged body, peels down my jeans and throws me on the hood of the car. “Let me devour this beautiful pussy of yours."

He starts pleasuring me, his tongue going up and down my swollen lips, enveloping my clit.

His hands find my breasts, pinch my nipples and caress my entire flushed body. I can’t stand it anymore, I need to feel him inside me.

“Are you ready for me baby?” his strong arms turn me around swiftly. He positions me on the hood, shoving his fingers in my extremely wet hole, opening me up some more, with a wet finger in my anus.

I gasp with anticipation as he cleaves my quivering pussy with his enormous cock. “Fuck me baby, oh god. I’ve been craving this for so long” I scream.

“Take it honey, take my 10 inches all the way, that’s right. You look so gorgeous." We cum together, wet fluids cover our thighs. He picks me up, kisses me passionately and places me slowly on my feet, I’m floating...

Dr. Limor Blockman is a world-renowned clinical sex counselor, practicing as a relationship and family counselor, a sex educator, advice columnist, speaker and author. She holds a PhD in Human Sexuality, an MA in public health and community medicine, and a BA in psychology and behavioral sciences. She has published three bestselling books (published in Hebrew) and reaches people worldwide through print, TV, radio, Internet and video. Find out more about Limor through her website, Facebook or follow her on Twitter @DoctorLimor.

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Have You Visited The Pleasure Chest Lately?

The Pleasure Chest is anything but your ordinary sex toyshop; it’s a business on a mission. Now in its 40th year, the store featured on both Sex and the City and Entourage (easily two of the most important shows in advocating sex) aims to both educate and enhance our sexual lives.

Their interest? Offering every customer a specialized experience in a judgment-free environment, as well as huge variety of toys. Another added benefit: they put on a regular series of free workshops to promote healthy, pleasurable and fulfilling sex for everyone.

You want it? They have it. Everything from vibrators to strap-ons to anal beads, The Pleasure Chest caters to both the fellas and the gals. They don’t stop with the sexual accessories to assist in mind-blowing orgasms. The Pleasure Chest is about forging a “sex positive culture.”

Grab any number of their sexual health videos and literature. In case you’re the last person on earth without a copy, you’ll be happy to know that “50 Shades of Grey” is now in stock!

Located right off the Paulina Brown Line in the booming Lakeview area, the Pleasure Chest is both easily accessible and equipped with free parking.


Last minute itch for that special toy to keep your partner screaming with pleasure? Grabbing for that bottle of lube only to find it empty? The hours accommodate the sexual night owls of Chicago, closing at 11pm Mon-Wed and 12am Thurs-Sat.

Visit The Pleasure Chest. They’re guaranteed to have what you want, and probably things you didn’t even know you wanted. With stores in other major markets like NY and LA, this innovative shop will no doubt continue their bi-costal mission in providing sexually satisfying lives.

Thanks to Zimibio.com for their picture of a couple inside a Pleasure Chest store.

This is a guest post by Greg Dorn. Greg is a self-employed day trader who loves writing. He aims to think about sex whenever possible, including a variety of ways to enhance his own love life. If you don't see Greg crunching numbers, you'll find him enjoying the beauty of his wonderful girlfriend around Chicago.

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6 Reasons 50 Shades Isn't Realistic

Since it's 50 Shades of Grey September, we have been writing a lot about BDSM and the 50 Shades trilogy. We have had writers talk about their experiences and I have talked about 50 Shades inspired fantasies. The book has become extremely popular in the last several months and for good reason. It gives us a peek into the sexy, complicated and lovely world of BDSM. However, the peek we are given in 50 Shades is quite unrealistic.

How so? We are glad you asked! Here is a list of the top six ways 50 Shades of Grey is completely unrealistic!

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1. A Dom taking in a virgin as a submissive

While there is a small percentage who might prefer a virgin, most Doms prefer women who are sexually experienced.

2. The crazy, rich and reclusive Dom

While reclusive people are not a rarity in this kind of lifestyle, the fact that he is super wealthy is not something that you will magically stumble upon. Add the fact that he picks a mousy college student...it's certainly a dream.

3. A virgin who was recently deflowered gets into kink

We highly doubt that if you recently loose your virginity you're going to find yourself quickly segwaying into kink of any kind. Exploring your sexuality takes time. After a few months we can understand, but after only a couple of weeks?

4. A 21 year old being handed their own company

We don't care if you're 35, if you have not proven to me over the course of a year or more that you can run a company than we are certainly not going to buy one and give it to you. As smart as Christian Grey is, he makes some crazy decisions.

5. A man that rich not signing a prenup

We get that money comes in bountiful amounts to Christian Grey. He worked hard for it and deserves it. But if you worked that hard, wouldn't you want to protect it? Especially if your marrying a 21 year-old who is not used to that kind of wealth! 

6. Contract, what contract?  

In the book, Christian Grey drew up a contract for Anna. It was a submissive contract. For a brand new submissive, someone who is not only new to you but new to the lifestyle, they would not get away with not signing a contract. Thank goodness she didn't get by on that nondisclosure agreement.

The world of BDSM is one hidden in a back room behind a red door. It's complex, amazing and very real. However, 50 shades is not. If you want a real peak into the BDSM life, do your research. We're here to help.

With love from, GetLusty.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

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