Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fun. Show all posts
Friday, December 14, 2012

9 Naked Date Ideas for This Weekend


Autumn is so romantic: the temperature is perfect for cuddling but still nice enough to leave the house, the food is sweet and savory and the entertainment is superb. Though Naked November came and left, that doesn't mean you can't still have a fabulous time naked! What better way to have fun then get naked? GetLusty's Crimson Love reports with ten ideas for having fun and getting naked at the same time!

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Holiday times can be rough. What better way to spend your time together than naked and having a ball?

#1 Naked board game night

Twister, anyone? Pick out your favorite game and make them a little more risqué. Make the stakes higher. For whoever wins, the sexy reward could involve cunnilingus, nipple play or anything else sexy. Ever consider sexy monopoly? Oh, yeah. Twister? Now you're thinking!

#2 Play out the scene to a movie

There is nothing quite like holding onto your partner while playing out a scene from, "The Lord of the Rings"! Is there a scene from a movie you both know so well you re-live it in your heads? Now how about naked? Being nude just makes everything more fun!

#3 Dance party!

Dance parties aren't just for Jersey Shore. This isn't the time to lower your heat. Get your own indoor dance party. Naked! You might even break a sweat. How about a quick shower after that dance party? Who hates showers with your lover? Thought so.

#4 Indoor picnic

How about setting up a warm romantic picnic in the middle of your living room? You don’t even have to put on clothes to leave the house. Rather than a meal, you can re-live the picnic setting. How about Champagne and strawberries? If you really want to get picnic-y, you could also bring in some AstroTurf. Or just some green clothes? Get creative!

#5 Add something to your bed

Get a new set of sheets. This will make your abode feel even warmer and make it even harder to leave. Take Sunday morning cuddles to the next level with satin sheets. Don't tell me that won't feel luxurious and wonderful when you're naked!


#6 Enjoy morning coffee together

Wake up earlier, cuddle, drink coffee and have some sort of pastry, if possible. Coffee in the nude is so much fun! You could also pick up a variety of creamers (Pumpkin spice? Eggnog latte?) and enjoy a little cream!

#7 Write a story together

Not just a story. Something creative. Do either of you paint? Write? Draw? Sit down together and share your passions. If you prefer to not be physically involved with another medium, read something you enjoy and lay together. Being creative while naked can take things to a different level.

#8 Bath time

When it's extra chilly, give your body some love with a bath or shower. Get clean, whip away the negative emotions about your body, and talk positively. How beautiful you are! How wonderful your partner is.

Our friend Bonnie Gayle, of Body Liberator, recommends especially during bath and shower time to love our bodies especially. So give yourself some love and tender attention. And give some of that to your partner, too!

#9 Have a cider date

Want to have a sweet and alcoholic date? Try different types of cider! Get several different flavors and brands to find out your favorite. They go very well with fall foods as well. Naked? Yes, even naked! Obviously, watch out when boiling the cider is the only issue. A little less dangerous than cooking bacon naked (think: oil), boiling liquids while naked is still slightly hazardous.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.
You have read this article dates / dating / for couples / Fun / Marriage with the title Fun. You can bookmark this page URL https://tangocupcakees.blogspot.com/2012/12/9-naked-date-ideas-for-this-weekend.html. Thanks!
Sunday, December 9, 2012

Creating Your Sexiest Bedroom: Do's and Don'ts


An amazing sexual relationship is, of course, created with the five pillars of an amazing relationship. But if your bedroom is keeping your sex life from moving you to the next level, consider moving furniture around. At GetLusty, we care about the feng shui of your bedroom. Why? It represents you! Here are a few tips from sex therapy and relationship counselors Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird tell you about creating the right bedroom atmosphere for great sex!

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Creating a love nest is very important. But sadly, the boudoir is sometimes overlooked and severely neglected. When thinking about your bedroom, is it a place you can relax and unwind? Do you want to spend time in there? Is it romantic? Or is your bedroom a place you want to avoid? Is it cluttered or filled with work?

Think about it. “Where the attention goes, the energy flows.” Thus, if you want more energy in the bedroom, then you must put some attention into it! So let’s get started! Here are a few simple Dos and Don’ts to help you create your very own love nest.

Bedroom Don'ts:

Have computers, iPhones, televisions and other electronic work distractions in your bedroom. Studies show that couples with a television in their bedroom have half the amount of sex as couples who don’t. (However, you can have a television in the bedroom only if you use it to watch erotic videos!)
  • Work desks, office stuff, etc.
  • Exercise equipment
  • Baby clothes or other accessories
  • Clutter and dirt (just give a small clean daily)
  • Bright colors or loud/busy patterns on the walls
  • Overly bright lights (unless interrogation is your thing)
  • Uncomfortable and noisy bed (was that you going bump in the night?)
  • And of course, child-like décor. Meaning, no race car beds!!
Bedroom Do's:

Great bedrooms are sexy and radiate positivity.
  • Consider using all your senses (sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste)!
  • Use satin sheets or soft bed sheets with high thread counts (over 350) Fur blankets, shag rugs and soft area carpets help to dampen noises
  • Use candles (including massage candles – some are even edible) and potpourri
  • Romantic wall colors (neutral tones are calming and soothing, warm tones are sexy and cool tones can be spa-like, relaxing and calming)
  • Mirrors and romantic photos (black and white pictures, landscapes, etc.)
  • Soft/dim lighting
  • CD player or iPod with romantic music ready to be played
  • A chest or secret decorative box (to store all your fun and sexy toys and aids, of course!)
  • A small box or bowl of chocolates on the night stand
  • Unique bedroom furniture that is multi-purpose! (check out Liberator for that!)
  • And of course, a good comfortable and quiet bed!
We hope this helps you create your love nest and get some positive and sexy energy into your bedroom. Remember, even small changes can yield big results! So get started!

Cross-posted with permission from their blog

Drs. Chuck and Jo-Ann Bird and are Board Certified Clinical Sexologists and Relationship Counselors. They co-counsel couples together which offers a unique and balanced male/female perspective and a combined therapy/coaching approach to helping their clients with a variety of relationship and sexual issues/concerns. Due to our last name and work they do, they've become known as “The Love Birds”.

They have 16 + years of personal experience in a healthy, loving and successful relationship. We know how to solve problems and work through difficulties that couples may face on a daily basis. We know ways to keep relationships strong and healthy. We offer you tools and strategies that can make positive changes in your relationship. Find out more about Chuck. Alternatively, find out more about Jo-Ann. Also, follow them on Twitter and 'Like' them on Facebook.
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Saturday, December 8, 2012

5 Ways to Make Kitchen Sex Extra Fabulous

It's Naked November, so we've been thinking about nakedness a lot. And since naked dates can lead to naked sex, how about some kitchen sex ideas? Sex in your apartment or living space can feel a little stale. Not with GetLusty. We're all about exploring, experimenting and trying different activities to spice things up! GetLusty's food and sex lover, Crimson Love, is here to help you sexplore your apartment. Here, we'll re-discover the joys of sex. We love apartment sex! This is part of our series on sex in different (maybe surprising places). Past articles include, 13 fun places to have apartment sex? And 5 surprising places in your apartment to make sex amazing again. So go ahead, have sex again--in every. Single. Room!

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A hotbed of sensual possibility, the kitchen is not just about counter tops. Well, it’s mostly about counter tops. And maybe a little bit about the sink - especially if you’re lucky enough to possess one of those tingle-inducing faucets with the multi-speed, detachable head...

#1 Use those counter tops

Height and surface area are your first and best allies in the kitchen. The penetrating partner of suitable height can achieve amazing depth when entering a counter-perched lover. Always make sure it's stable before going harder and deeper, like I know many of you love. Sitting spread-eagle, or bent at the waist, also provides: 1. A really hot visual. 2. The perfect position for your partner to grab you by the hips and pull you even closer.

Bonus: a center island. Height, surface area and 360 access? Drawers for leverage and adapted toys (see #3 below)? The opportunity, should you find yourself feeling impulsive, to sweep the whole lot of newspapers, unopened mail and coffee mugs to the floor in a sexy, theatrical flourish? You’ve got it made.

#2 Orgasm on the cupboards? Yes, please!

Cupboards are for bracing yourself, aiding momentum, slamming dramatically at the height of orgasm and foraging in afterward to get your strength back up. Do the doors have handles? Why not use scarves to bind your lover while you try #3.

#3 Get kinky with kitchen utensils! 

A swat with a spatula. A pastry brush over nipples. The convex sides of spoons warmed in palms, between legs. The sting of whisks. Open the drawers and get creative. Wash it well before and after: you’re in the kitchen, for goodness sake! However, there are several things to watch. Stay away from: microwaves (unless you’re heating up one of those lovely glass dildos), blenders, knives; frankly anything that is too sharp, too hot or too motorized.

#4 Food & sex? Oh my!

If you’re into food and sex, or properly washedand chilled insertable materials, the ‘fridge is your best kitchen-lust ally. Stock up!

Bonus: an in-door ice maker. Good for nipples, clits and penises; the cold can be too intense for some. Be careful, however, of popping one in your mouth and attempting head: there's a high risk of the bad sort of choking. Though, possibly not as bad as these other blowjob mistakes. In addition, the refrigerator can be used as a (fairly) sturdy base to be shoved up against. Provided you don’t mind knocking off commemorative magnets, grocery lists or that one really stunning vacation photo you took a few years ago (wink).

#5 The Floor

How can you enjoy a good, old-fashioned shag, minus the dirty floor? Some of you may not mind writhing in a little grit. Those who do: why not stash a spare sheet in a convenient spot, like between that once-used popcorn popper and the never-used snow cone maker? If your linen closet is within don’t-break-the-spell distance, grab a few towels: they can be used to mop up come afterward (wink).

Lastly, since you've been on every surface, possibly eaten, possibly inserted various objects or swept mail and mugs to the floor in a fit of lust: clean up! Clean yourselves, clean the space and stay tuned for the next installment of great apartment sex.

This is a guest post by GetLusty for Couples' staff writer Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson at amber@getlusty.com.
You have read this article better sex / Blowjob / food / for couples / for men / for women / Fun / Orgasm / relationships / Sex / sexual adventures with the title Fun. You can bookmark this page URL https://tangocupcakees.blogspot.com/2012/12/5-ways-to-make-kitchen-sex-extra.html. Thanks!
Sunday, December 2, 2012

Strip Tease 101: How To Strip For Your Lover


It's this simple: we all love strippers. Okay, maybe not strippers themselves, but we definitely love being teased and seduced. Let us share some helpful tips on how to become your partner's fantasy. In this informative and fun article, our favorite doctor, Richard Wagner PhD (better known as Dr. Dick) offers his advice on how to best prepare, preform, and finish a strip tease for your partner, whether they be male or female.

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The Art of the Strip

Most people miss out on the pleasure of undressing with and for their partners. Stripping out of, or being stripped out of, our daily wear and into something sexy, or nothing at all, is one of life’s big turn ons. It’s also a visual signal that we’re shifting out of our work-a-day world and entering the realm of sensuality. Stripping is an art form, ya know. In fact, we could all learn a lesson or two from the folks who do this for a living.

Few of us are natural born exhibitionists. The majority of us don’t know how to slink out of our clothes without looking ridiculous. It's like they say in the business: real strippers are born, not made. OK, so most of us aren’t naturals, including myself. But that doesn’t mean we can’t pick up a few of the finer points from this ancient art form and apply them to our own situation.

Be the fantasy

First and foremost, we’re gonna have to leave as many of our inhibitions and body issues as possible at the door. If you’re so self-critical as to think you’ll be absurd if you try, you might as well drop the whole thing right there. But if you’re into having some fun (even if it’s at your own expense), then step right up, cuz we’re gonna to make you a star!

If you plan on stripping for someone you know well, like your partner, you probably already know a lot about what turns him or her on. Ya know, those little sexual peccadilloes we all have — fishnet stockings, a g-string and high heels, a white jock, leather chaps, armbands, a cowboy hat, a Catholic schoolgirl plaid skirt, anklets and Mary Janes, things like that. These things well be the building blocks of your outfit. Remember, you will be stripping down to something before there is nothing left to remove, so consider your theme and then layer from there. Each successive layer removed should reveal an even more tantalizing layer underneath.
  • Don’t wear something that’s gonna be a bitch to take off.
  • Have enough layers to keep the show interesting.
  • Remember the majority of the show is attitude so have confidence and feel sexy while you strip
Set the mood

Consider the venue for your show. Since there’s gonna be a whole lot of dancing around, you’ll want the space to be big enough so you don’t have to cramp your style. For those of you who don't feel they are a great dancer, remember that you are there to seduce and tease your partner; just feel sexy and move as if you are making love to them. While you want to put on a show, you’ll want the environment to be warm and intimate. Set the mood with the proper lighting. It is also important to have good, sexy music to set the stage.

Arrange your space so that your audience is seated in the middle of your performance area and make sure you can slink and shimmy around him/her. For those of you who are a little bolder and want some theatrical flair, consider a little homemade stage with curtains that you can use as part of your performance. Remember, this is about you and your audience.  If you have never stripped before it doesn't need to be complicated.  Think about the scene where Jamie Lee Curtis does an awkward strip to a stranger to save her husband in True Lies.  She even fell down, but got back up again and continued as she gained confidence.

Keeping it Simple or Making a Sexy Production?

When strippers in clubs perform a private dance they may not have all the props and gadgets a full choreographed production would have.  It is just a sexy lap dance with tease and denial, oozing sexuality and promise of taking the girl/guy home for more.  However, if you want to move into a more Burlesque style strip, some good ideas are to have simple props.

A chair or stool al la Cabaret perhaps and you’ll want something to taunt your audience with; a seductive hat, a feather boa, a ridding crop, gloves — opera length or leather. There are even collapsible dancer poles available online for a touch of the authentic.  Remember, you are the star; keep it simple and sexy.

Mood lighting and music are really important elements to a successful show. A miscalculation here may fuck up your whole routine. Do you want full bright light, or the candlelight glow of a dive nightclub?  Your music should be sexy, something you like that  has a great, hot rhythm or grind.  Go the distance and compile a few different tempos on a tape, CD or MP3 player to really impress your audience. Arrange your music so that it will automatically flow from one tempo or song to the next.

Try not to interrupt your show to change the tape or CD, although if something skips you can play it off and be cute to distract. Add an air of authenticity and have your audience adhere to strict strip club rules: your audience must remain seated throughout, keep your communication non-verbal, your audience is not allowed to touch you, and (depending on your tastes) you are prohibited from directly touching your audience. These rules will enhance the tease effect. If you want to heighten the effect, consider restraining your audience with a little erotic bondage. A silk handkerchief, or a satin scarf works to secure his/her hands and feet. Or you could always pull out all the plugs and get yourself some swell bondage gear online. I’m thinkin’ some leather restraints and cuffs will do the trick if you are aware of how to use them and it won't interfere in your pleasure of the sexy dance routine.

Show the Goods

Remember, you control the show and the audience. When you’re ready to begin the show, start your music and seductively move or dance towards your audience. Let him/her have a good look at you and you’re outfit — front and back. Approach your audience then gyrate or dance in front of him/her. Be sure to include some deep bending front and back. Let your audience get a load of the goods! Get as close to your audience as possible without actually touching. Close enough for him/her to smell you, or for you to swipe him/her with something you’re wearing. This is where a nice boa or leather flogger will come in handy.

Continue to tease and taunt, and keep moving. Squat or use one of your props to lean against or partially sit and seductively open your legs or show your ass. Keep you hands busy on your body, stroking yourself, reaching into your outfit to fondle yourself. Feel free to touch your audience, but never with your hands, only with your props.  Completely dominate your audience through visuals and work with the music.

Lure Them In

Please through tease. After this initial dance, move away from your audience and start the main show; the strip. When you shuck each article of clothing, don’t just remove it; tease with it. Toss each discarded article to you audience, or drag it over him/her. Being unable to touch you will enhance his/her sense of smell. Use this to your advantage. Wipe your clothing on your body before tossing it to your audience. The more intimate articles: bra, stockings, underwear, jock or what have you could be wrapped around his/her head and face. Strip slowly and erotically; reveal only an inch or two of skin at a time. If you are about to reveal something on your front, turn your back on your audience first.

If you’re gonna reveal your ass, start by facing your audience and then seductively turn around. Build on the anticipation. Make your audience want more. Stay in rhythm with your music. Then, once you’re completely naked, approach your audience and present yourself in all your glory. You should be deliciously sweaty and aroused by now. Using one of your props, a dildo perhaps, wipe your breasts, your crotch and bring it close to your audience’s face.

Try a lap dance or pull his/her face into your breasts or crotch. Get on all fours and seductively loosen his/her clothing. Your audience might still be bound to his/her chair, so you can have your way with him/her. Remember this is supposed to be fun for both of you, if things go haywire laugh it off and maybe have your audience help you unzip the stuck zipper.  If you trip when you are in your stripper shoes, turn it into some sexy floor work and show them the goods they want to do naughty things to.

After your initial strip you can continue the sex play to fruition. While on the floor, use your feet to stroke his/her crotch. Turn up the heat by masturbating for your audience. Tease or lick your audience’s tits, finger her pussy, or diddle his cock. As your show concludes touch [or untie] your partner and lead him/her to a full-on fuck. Good luck.

Originally posted at Dr. Dick's Sex Advice.

This is a guest post from Richard Wagner, Ph.D., ACS - aka Dr Dick, sexologist, author, educator, syndicated sex advice columnist and publisher of Dr Dick's Sex Advice and Dr Dick Sex Toy Reviews. He's been a practitioner of Sex Therapy and Relationship Counseling for over 30 years.

Richard Wagner (Dr. Dick) affirms the fundamental goodness of sexuality in human life, both as a personal need and as an interpersonal bond. He knows the unhappiness and anxiety, which sex-negative attitudes can engender in individuals, alienating them from their own body and the bodies of others. Find Dr. Dick on Twitter @DrDickSexAdvice.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Putting the Fun in Feminism

At GetLusty, we love feminism because it puts us on equal footing professionally. When searching for "feminism" on shutterstock, one of the first images found is below. GetLusty's  Lynn Olejniczak reports.

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Raise your hand if when you hear the word “feminism” part of you goes into a coma. Yeah, me too. First, visions of bra- burning, turtleneck wearing women from the ‘70’s start organizing marches across my brain. Then heavily tattooed lesbians sing Ani DiFranco songs. They begin screaming about men raping the environment, and everything goes black. In reality, this has all and nothing to do with Feminism. But let’s not turn this into a lecture! Let’s put the “fun” back into Feminism! And pick up a few credit hours on the way.

True or False

Q: In Medieval Europe married women enjoyed more rights than unmarried women.

False. Unmarried adolescent girls and widows were able to own property and enter into business in the private sector. It was only when they married that women gave up their rights, merging with their husband, and losing power to his gain. Granted, we’re talking nobility here, and noble women married earlier. Class and economics have been around since the earth cooled. But once the husband kicked the bucket, the widow was able to re-enter the business sphere and generally stayed a widow.

So, what can we take away from this? It sucked being a poor woman in medieval Europe? Sure. But even 600-1000 years ago women saw the difference between their rights as an individual, and their rights in marriage.

Feminism is defined as “the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.” The word “feminism” wasn’t coined until the 1800’s but the concept has been around much longer than that. Life during European, Roman, Greek, Islamic wartime is tough. The winners survive, and make the rules. Mostly men fought, killed, and got to make those rules. If going into labor was revered as much as killing people I doubt the word Feminism would even exist.

Women gain freedom in childbirth

Ding-ding-ding. True, well sort of. Before pregnancy was considered a medical condition, and only doctors (read: men) could deliver babies, you called the midwife. When a woman became a midwife, she was granted the freedom of tending to the laboring mother. The midwife is the one with the “freedom.” She enjoyed certain amount of time away from the household, she received some respect and even power in the community. Unfortunately, when overseeing a magical act of a delivery gone wrong the midwives were often accused of witchcraft.

A large part of feminist rhetoric is aimed at a woman’s right over her own body. Reproductive and contraceptive rights were obviously in the forefront of this year’s elections. The definition of rape and the results thereafter were also at great debate. Men and women loudly voiced their opinions proving that one doesn’t have to be a woman to believe a woman has rights over her own body. But Feminism isn’t only about the sexual rights of women. It can include the rights of the LGBT community, a stand on pornography (both for and against), opinions on prostitution and trafficking. It concerns a woman’s health rights, and rights regarding sexual harassment and abuse. Feminism does not have to include man:bad, woman:good any more than religion has to include fire and brimstone. But just like radical religious zealots there are radical feminists. Unfortunately when most people hear the word “feminist” they envision the radical, woman-only type.

78 year old feminist, Gloria Steinem has retired

False. OK, that was a lay-up. At the 40th anniversary of Ms. Magazine, Steinem made a very insightful point. She said, “...All great social justice movements must last something like a century if they are to be really deeply absorbed into the culture and understood to be normal and natural.”

The Industrial Age (1750-1850) eventually led to the fight for workers’ rights. The current attitude of the majority is that workers are entitled to proper pay for proper work, time off, enforcement of child labor laws, and safe working conditions. Unfortunately, this fight still takes place but usually because people try to skirt the laws that were established to uphold what was believed to be normal and natural. Women’s rights, civil rights, LGBT rights are still considered young movements in comparison. 

Feminism today is generally more inclusive. Color, nationality, religion, and class encompass the push for equal representation for women. Recent electoral history proves there are still examples of laws oppressing women. But Feminism today is not only about the law. It's about changing the thought process that says men have superiority over women (read: equality). It challenges the notion that women don’t know enough to govern their bodies. It urges recognition of the influence of women in art, literature, music and architecture without encouraging separation.

The hurdle we must get over in understanding Feminism is not assuming that women are fighting to usurp power but to be included in it: equally. But if Gloria is right, we still have another 60 years before we are close.

Class dismissed.

One organization GetLusty has supported in the past is WORD: Women Organized to Resist and Defend. They're a liberal organization that here in Chicago, nationally and international have organized grassroots protests in support of women's reproductive rights. They're pretty awesome and completely volunteer run (only starting mid-2012, they've done quite a bit so far).

Speaking of feminist sex, have you 'Liked' GetLusty on Facebook yet? We're giving away a Tiani 2 to a lucky 'Liker' by December 1st. We're also on Pinterest and Tumblr, as well as Twitter @getlusty. What?! You're on those platforms and aren't in tune with our awesome content? Have amazing sex. Get lusty.

Lynn Olejniczak is a native Chicagoan who loves her city and everything it has to offer. She spent 10 years as a NASDAQ trader in Chicago and New York in the 90's, then went back to college when "the rules changed and I realized no one was going to pay me lots of money to swear at them anymore."

She loves good food, and a perfectly poured Guinness at any Irish pub in the city. Her Beastie Boys CD's rest comfortably next to her Misfits vinyl, and she believes Underground Garage is the best radio program known to humankind. Armed with degrees in History, and a love of Urban Planning, Lynn is currently writing and researching a book on the 80's Chicago bar scene. Get in touch with Lynn at editorial@getlusty.com.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

6 Things You May Not Know About Tantra


What comes to most of our minds when "Tantra" is mentioned is mind-blowing, never-ending orgasms. That is definitely one of the objectives for today's busy couple. (Think: breathing exercises that bring you closer in around an hour.) We sometimes forget that Tantra is also a religious and meditation ritual. Well, our favorite Sacred and Sensual Teachers are here to offer their extensive knowledgeable on Tantra. Drs. Janelle Alex and Rob Alex offer insight for those wanting deeper insight into this sacred practice.

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When you hear the word “Tantra” you very likely are going to think about learning different ways to enhance your sex life. Holy cow, if you practice Tantra with your lover, the two of you are going to have orgasms out of this world! Maybe, maybe not.

Yes, there are great breathing techniques, special positions, hand positions (mudras) and special ceremonies to enhance your sex life and your orgasms, but that is not what Tantra is all about. If you open your heart and your soul, you will find that Tantric practices are just one way to help you gain access to the Divine; a higher purpose. So, here are six things you very likely did not know about this ancient practice and its true functions.

#1 It's about better sex -- and much more!

The original goal of practicing the Tantric principals was to achieve spiritual growth and self-realization. The main purpose is transcendence and enlightenment. Hinduism and Buddhism teaches that attaining enlightenment is what will break samsara (the continual cycle of birth, death, rebirth – a constant wandering – a continual journey of searching). Therefore, Tantric practices, which include sexual practices, are a path to enlightenment – a path to break the perpetual cycle.

#2 It's a blend of masculine and feminine energy

We all have masculine and feminine energy within each of us no matter what our physical sex is. Therefore, blending the masculine and feminine within a physically intimate encounter does not necessarily have to be a heterosexual experience.

In Tantra, Shiva and Shakti represent the masculine and the feminine and the merging of the two within each of us individually as well within our loving relationships. This blending is an attempt to reach bliss and a connection to Self. Sexual activities are only one piece of this blending.

#3 The body is energy

The body is not simply a conduit for the flow of energy, but is actually energy itself. Down to your tiniest cell, your teensiest neuron, you are actually energy. Tantra has, what I consider, a metaphysical view in regards to energy and the body. The belief is that energy has consciousness and therefore, the body (all of the body) has consciousness as well. The body and the mind are not separate pieces, but are integrated aspects of the whole.

#4 Tantra integrates spirit and desire

The body is to be honored and adored. It is not, as some traditions teach, a sinful aspect of life and it is not a distraction from spiritual development. It actually offers a doorway, a portal, to access the Divine. Lovemaking is not the only way the body can open a portal, but it is one way. Tantra suggests that lovemaking truly is the playfulness and adjusted experience of bliss as a couple enjoy blending the masculine and the feminine. Your desires, your love, and your spiritual life should be integrated – not held with a great degree of separation.
 
#5 Tantric practitioners believe in deities

It is believed that during meditation and other tantric practices, including sexual activities, that the practitioners can feel deities near them. These particular Gods and Goddesses are still moving along their spiritual path as well. Even though they are not yet ascended masters (those who have achieved self-realization/become enlightened and are serving humanity) they are a gateway to the original creative source.

#6 Tantra creates a safe and sacred space

Creating a safe and sacred space, such as a sacred circle, and requesting friendship and protection from beings in the subtle dimension (similar to Earth, but more ethereal) is important within Tantric practices. There are unpleasant beings within that dimension and it is important to request only light beings surround you and to request their protection.

We're so excited to get a couple writing for GetLusty! They're both adorable, smart and altogether wonderful!

Dr. Janelle Alex, Ph.D. and Rob Alex, M.Sc. are writers, counselors as well as Sacred and Sensual Teachers. They recently completed an eBook on "Sexy Challenges: Sacret and Sensual Experiences for Lovers" which is on sale at Amazon! Learn more about them on Sexy Challenges.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2012

5 Ways to Have a More Seductive Thanksgiving



It seems that most people don't think Thanksgiving can be sexy. In fact, it could be considered the most unsexy holiday possible. We don't buy it! This isn't just a day for grandparents and cousins, it's a day spent with your sexy partner. GetLusty's Matt Stickles gives five ways to make your day of giving thanks a sexy one.

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#1 Cuddle when you have the chance

Be sure to cuddle up with one another. Thanksgiving can be quite a hectic time, especially if your hosting. You and your partner can only benefit from a little bit of cuddling in the morning and at night. Nothing helps you forget the stresses of cooking and family drama like holding your partner in your arms when you get a break. If you decide you want to make moves past cuddling, go for it!

#2 Fun under the table

Just because you're married or have been together for a while doesn't mean you can't play. In fact, quite the opposite. Playing footsie under the table is a great way to remind your partner that you are still thinking about them. You still find them just as appetizing as the the delicious food on top of the table! If you are sitting next to your partner, then a discretely wander your hand over to their lap--it can be pretty seductive!

#3 Play in the kitchen 

If your hosting, cooking can be a major hassle. Even though putting together a great meal for a lot of people is a major stress, you and your partner can make it fun by fooling around in the kitchen! Drip some cranberry sauce on his or her neck, put a drop of whip cream on their chest, then help them with the clean-up by licking it off. If your kitchen is separate from the festivities, and you two are all alone for a moment, have yourselves a quick make-out session. There's nothing much sexier than sneaking around with inappropriate behavior.

#4 Massages

You just ate your own weight in turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing. The both of you just want to lay on the couch and veg out, neither of you feeling very sexy. However, a little massage is a great way to make each other feel better and maybe even get in the mood. A full body massage might be out of the question, due to that food-baby sitting in your belly. But you can still rub their feet, shoulders, scalp, hands, and arms. As long your partner is not resting on their stomach, mini massage feel amazing and are welcomed touches (do ask first, though).

#5 A Thanksgiving quickie

If you're hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year, then you have all kinds of options for some sexy fun. At some point during the festivities, sneak off with your partner to the bedroom for a quicky. Too much for you? How about a quick blow job in the bathroom? You don't even have to go as far as those things. Find a place with a locked door, throw a hand down his pants, or up her skirt, and just give a taste of what's waiting for them.


Our newest writer is a history, sex and love... lover, Matt Stickles.

Matt is a recent grad from the University of Kansas with Bachelor's degrees in History and Anthropology. Matt currently lives just outside of Chicago. When Matt is not writing and reading articles on GetLusty for Couples, you can catch him getting drinks with friends, reading science fiction, watching the Jayhawks dominate college basketball, or hanging out with Hannah, his Bernese Mountain dog. Have questions, comments or concerns? E-mail him at matt@getlusty.com.
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Monday, November 19, 2012

10 Lesbian Stereotypes Debunked




Though we're interested in featuring articles for gay and lesbian audiences, we've just started creating lesbian-focused content. We're glad, though, that lesbian, gay and straight relationships are relatively similar. In the second article in a series focused on lesbian-issues, we're offering several stereotypes that need debunking. What do straight individuals think about lesbians that just isn't necessarily true? GetLusty's lesbian writer Milan Weasley reports.

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There are stereotypes for many people and lifestyles. Lesbians are no different. GetLusty's Milan Weasley is here to lay bare (pun intended) these myths. And open the mysterious world of lesbians to the readers of GetLusty!

#1 Lesbians hate men

Being a lesbian does not mean that we hate all humans with penises. Some of my closest friends are male. I can even acknowledge seeing an attractive man. But do I want to have sex with him? No. And being a lesbian means just that. Lesbians are fine working with and even befriending men. We just don't want you guys in our beds.

#2 Lesbians just haven't the one

Not every lesbian is a gold-star. Meaning some lesbians have never slept with a man, but some have. Just like some people are only attracted to blondes, some women are only attracted to women. I like to explain it like this, the worst sexual experience I had with a woman was still better than the best sexual experience I had with a man.

#3 Why do you use toys then?

Toys spice up every relationship. They add something new and fun. There are lots of lesbians that don't like or use toys. There are many positions that don't require toys, not just limited to cunnilingus and scissoring! And yes, some lesbians do scissor.


#4 Lesbians wish they were men

Some lesbians have more masculine traits. Do they want to transition to the opposite sex? Not all the time. Lesbians are women that like other women. While transgender people are individuals born biologically into one body, but feeling as if another sex fits them. Not all lesbians identify as trans*, but some do.

#5 All lesbians are feminist

Not all feminists are lesbians. And not all lesbians are feminists! We honestly aren't that different. There isn't a list of attributes all straight women must abide by, and the same applies to lesbians. We're all different. There are women that are anti-feminist, as there lesbians that are the same. We're not all bra burning. Lesbians are against bras for a very different reason.

#6 There's gotta be a butch

Lesbian relationships are just that. A relationship between two lesbians. If one was the man, it'd be a heterosexual relationship. Although some lesbians have a more masculine appearance, it does not mean they adhere to all masculine traits. In some straight couples, the woman works while the man stays at home. It doesn't make him any more the woman in the relationship than it makes her the man.

#7 I can spot a lesbian!

We don't come with tags. And throughout different countries and cultures, styles are different. Not all lesbians wear plaid and look like lumberjacks. Not all of us have short pixie cuts. I've mentioned that lesbians have a plethora of personalities, and the same applies to looks. Because of this, some lesbians have to come out repeatedly. I've come out to other lesbians and gotten looks of shock.

#8 Lesbians choose their sexuality.

It's unnatural. Did you know many species of animals, in nature and in captivity, engage in homosexual pairings. The Bonobo chimpanzee, the species most biologically similar to humans, are almost exclusively bisexual in nature and captivity. Bottlenose dolphins have homosexual relationships and sex, often in pairs for life. If it can develop in animals, naturally, why is it so incomprehensible that it can also be natural with us?

#9 Lesbians 'like' every woman

Again, just like every straight man isn't attracted to every woman, every lesbian isn't attracted to every woman. Everyone has types and interests. Don't fear ladies! If lesbian starts a conversation with you, it's not guaranteed to end with her hitting on you. We don't want to recruit you. I don't plan on hazing any straight women into the lesbian society.

#10 Lesbians don't have 'real' sex!

You can have sex without a penis. Think of it this way, when women masturbate, they aren't using penises. But it's still considered sex. And if they are using toys, it's still sex without a penis! Dildos are not replacements for penises.

This is the second in a series of posts from GetLusty staff writer Milan Weasley.

Milan Weasley is one of our first lesbian writers. (Ah! Dykes and dildos!) She spends her days procrastinating grad school and her nights procrastinating everything else. She enjoys writing, gogo dancing, sewing, pole dancing, and defending the Oxford comma.

Questions, comments or article ideas? Get in touch with Milan at milan@getlusty.com.
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