I Had Dick Fight a wiv Me Bird's Dad

All characters and terms including boy and lad refer to people age 18 and over.
Me and my bird’s Dad, we got on really well. He was one of those macho types. When I met him for the very first time, first thing he asked me was, “Do you like rugby?”
I couldn’t stand it really but I didn’t wanna create a bad impression.
“Yeah. Love it.”
“Good lad. Better than football. That’s for fannies.”
“Yeah. Bend It Like Beckham? More like Bender Like Beckham.”
Fuck me, just thought of that one. I should be on stage. I was wasted being the boyfriend of some bird’s humourless Dad. He didn’t even smile.
Second time I met him he was feeling my biceps.
He said, “Not bad. See if you can beat me in an arm wrestle.”
My bird was dead embarrassed.
I said, “No way, Mr McGann. I’ve no chance.”
He was a lot bigger than me. He said if I wanted to I could cheat by lifting my arse off the chair and putting all my weight behind me. So we did it like that but I still only lasted for two seconds. He gave me a friendly punch, said I was a rum lad.
Anyway, things got really weird the third time we met. I’d gone round to see my bird but she wasn’t in.
Mr McGann said, “She’s gone out with her Mum but come in, lad. We can have a man-to-man chat.”
There was no way I could say, “Fuck off, Mr McGann – you bore the shit out of me.”
So I went in.
He opened a can of lager, gave it to me, opened one for himself. We chatted away about all things macho. Then from out of the blue he absolutely shocked me.
“You ever had a dick fight, lad?”
I thought I heard him wrong.
“A dick fight. You want one?”
“A…a dick fight?”
“Yeah. Fancy having one?”
“A dick fight?”
“You couldn’t beat me in an arm wrestle, so let’s see how you are with your dick.”
“You…you wanna fight me with your dick?”
“Yeah. Hard enough, is it? Your erection? Is it big and hard?”
“Mine is. Got a really big hard erection, me.”
He took his shoes and socks off.
“Come on, lad. Get your kit off – we’re having a dick fight.”
“But, I…I don’t even fight with my fist, never mind with my dick.”
I was well confused.
He unbuttoned his trousers. I just sat there, not moving, not doing nothing. He got up and pulled my T-shirt off.
“Come on. You can undress yourself, can’t you?”
He was getting naked. I didn’t know what was going on but I started taking my clothes off coz that’s what he told me to do.
“Do…do I have to get completely naked?”
“How the fuck do you expect us to have a dick fight if we’re not naked, you daft bastard?”
“Well I dunno. I…I’ve never had a dick fight.”
I’d never heard of a dick fight.
My girlfriend’s Dad got completely naked. I’d stripped down to my boxers. We were both standing there face to face.
“For fuck’s sake, lad. You’re not shy, are you?”

“The thought of having a good dick fight with a fit young lad is making me feel all excited.”
“What? Like…in a gay way like?”
He looked proper disgusted that I should even suggest it.
“I’m not a fucking queer! I’m getting excited coz we’re gonna have a good dick fight!”
“Oh right. Yeah. Of course.”
I stroked my dick, looking at my Mr McGann’s cock.
I said, “Just making sure it stays nice and hard so I can have a proper cock fight.”

He whipped my boxers down. I stepped out of ‘em. He looked me up and down.
“Mmm. Fine figure of a boy…and not a bad dick as well.”
This was weird. Then he started playing with himself, having a good tug on his big fat dick.
“Well come on, lad. Get it hard. We can’t have a dick fight if you don’t get it hard.”
We were both standing there naked, face to face. My bird’s Dad, he jacked his cock till it got hard. When I saw it throbbing all stiff and red, I got a nice sexy tingle in my dick. We both got hard. I’d never been naked and erect with anybody before. This was weird but yeah…it felt good.
Me and my bird’s Dad, we stood there with our hands by our sides, hips pushed forward, comparing dicks. They were about the same size. Maybe my bird’s Dad, maybe his dick was just a bit bigger than mine but there really wasn’t all that much in it. My hard-on was steeper than his. His dick stuck out at about 45 degrees and it had a bit of a curve. Mine stuck out at about 60 degrees and was dead straight. Our dicks were nice and thick and we both had nice big overgrown bell-ends. Big juicy purple bell-ends, well shiny and wet. My bell-end was full of pre-cum and I was dead pleased to see that my bird’s Dad, his dick was pre-cumming big time as well.
“That thing’s not gonna spunk up all over me, is it, Mr McGann?

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